When nature calls...

Waking up especially early today, I sat by the lakeside behind my condo, waiting for my lawyer to turn up so that we can complete the strata title transfer document. Turn up, she did. In fact, we completed the whole formality in a jiffy, no more than 10 minutes to be exact.

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The lawyer is very much of my age if not few years younger. As she was handling my documentation, she filled me in with her golf adventures with the top guns of few developers and her karaoke sessions with well-known bankers. However, in few occasions throughout the conversation, she never failed to slip in few words of complaint about how busy her schedule is. Amidst the professional tone that most of the lawyers employed whenever they carry out their duties, I heard a faint trail of frustration in her voice.

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Without battling an eyelid, I asked her then why would she subject herself to such torment. She basically has a choice. Everyone does. She shrugged her shoulders and casually replied, "Just like everyone else, I strive for the money".

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I am convinced that everyone of us has a calling. Indeed, we have been called numerous times ever since we were toddler. The calling I mean here is the mode of reaching out from our higher consciousness to our day to day consciousness. It is supposed to be the guidance from our higher self so that we can sail through our lives effortlessly. Claiming such mechanism to be embedded in our pyschological sphere, should not be that outrageous given that as proven by science, homosapiens are capable to evolve for self-defense purposes. Unfortunately, we are always clouded with mundane worries and let such calling pass us by. Indeed, few of us have the sufficient courage or confidence to answer the calling. Most of the time we are so busy strategizing our career advancements or even some get rich plans, that we rather bury the calling deep inside our heart and never let it resurface ever again. While also at times, we are so blinded by the sense of security that we even hate the sound of such calling.

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Just like the young lawyer that I met today, we do not differ from her much. We are so willing to let ourselves be guided by illusion of wealth, fame and status but we shun the calling that we so yearn to follow. Even though we know such calling promises us happiness and satisfaction in the end, the prominence of insecurity just puts everyone off.

Towards the end, while she hastily made her move for her other appointments lining up to the late evening, I solemnly chose to remain by the lakeside and let myself be bathed in the morning sun. So what will you choose?

If you were to stretch out your hand and try to catch hold of time, you will find that it seeps through your fingers effortlessly

It has already been some time since the last time I posted here, being busy with my renewed hobby, which is photography. Much time has been spent on roaming the KL streets and exploring some unknown territories, just to find an interesting object to shoot. Indeed, these few days, I get to know KL deeper than what I have already known for the past 10 yrs. Hence, for the first time I appreciate KL as it is.

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Of course for most photography enthusiasts, Putrajaya occupies at least the top 3 positions in their "must shoot scene" list. I am of no different. The only difference is beyond the majestic buildings, grand bridges and serene man-made lakes, Putrajaya is also a place, which is very dear to me. Back in 1997, when the economic crisis triggered by currency speculation hit hard at Malaysia, I was already enrolled in Inti College Malaysia under their 2+1 UK accounting degree program, which required me to spend at least 1 year in a Scottish university to complete my degree. But everything changed with a blink of an eye, when my father's business almost gone under. Though that period seemed so distanced now, it was still a tough period to go through. In the end, I completed my degree locally, which I have no qualms.

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Nevertheless, things took a sudden change again, when my father was awarded with a contract to transport more than 50% of the lamp posts to be installed in Putrajaya. That contract alone revived my father's business and also entitled me to spend a year in UK for my master degree. Therefore, it is not unusual that I occasionally visit and pay homage to Putrajaya, as an appreciation for giving me the opportunity to see the world.

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Nevertheless, taking Putrajaya's pictures today made me reminisce the past, it didn't help at all with the rainy weather and gloomy sky, which accentuated the woeful feelings in me. While everyday I make plans for the short-term, I have forgotten the long journey that I have paced all these years. It was neither a smooth journey nor a turbulent one but it is quite a memoir, nonetheless. Even challenges back then have lost their grief and gradually become my cherished memories, what more those sweet experiences that I manage to pick up along those years. Looking back, indeed, the space in my memory as hard disk, has gradually diminished day by day, while its content increases. I guess it is the sign of ageing, when your heart is bogged down with so much memories that you yearn to play back. However, past is past. To live the past once again, is utterly impossible.

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I once heard, life is like rollercoaster, the uphill is just like our adolescence years, when we keep pressing the accelerator. While downhill is like our midage and thereafter, when we keep applying the brake, only to find that the brake fails us. The profound meaning of this saying bit me hard today, after all, we always leave a part of us in the past.